I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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