she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You were trust falling into bushes
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
