whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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