Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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