So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
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