you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
