What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
