Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
