too bad you live with your parents still
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
