MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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