when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
third nipple confirmed
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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