Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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