**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
from now on my penis is your penis
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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