I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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