Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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