We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
i black out too much to be "responsible"
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
