He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
