I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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