We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
