We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
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