I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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