he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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