Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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