i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
