I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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