did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
