yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
