ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
