We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
