He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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