I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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