it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Randomize
