Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
