Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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