Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
