she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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