Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
