I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
