I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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