i just had sex bonerless
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Randomize
