Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
