hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
