I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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