Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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