You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize