Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
