he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
