How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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