The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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