My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
