Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
