Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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