He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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