Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
