So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
