Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
