"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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