Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
