Porn is love you can see.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
