Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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