I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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