yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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