with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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