I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize