One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
